Random thoughts from my deluded mind

Timely reminder - live life as it is fragile

As the year started to draw to a close, it looked like it would end on a far more positive note than it began.

There have been many challenges and upsets this year. I have continued to stay strong for family and friends who have been having illness, issues and problems.

Things were looking better and hopeful. Prognosis for my sister was good. Everything was improving and she was starting to look more healthy. Rather than spending Christmas in hospital, she is being discharged and will be spending Christmas at home with my family.

Then received the bad news that a close friend, who I don’t see enough of but really should see more of, had been taken to hospital with a brain tumour. Prognosis was not good, but thankfully signs are looking good that all will be well. He will remain in the thoughts and prayers of lots of people.

Yet again a timely reminder. I promised last year that I would try and see more of my friends and that I would do more to change that. Nearly 12 months later and I have been just as bad as previously.

So I won’t make any promises this year, other than to urge people to live their lives. Don’t put things off, don’t leave things until tomorrow. make plus, see friends, have dinner, go to the theatre, do whatever you want/need to do.

Life is fragile and you never know what is around the corner.

Everybody changes, but I still feel the same

A while back I blogged about moving into a new organisation and whether or not I felt it would work for me.

Well here we are 6 months down the line, and with the exception of new reporting lines and a wider scope of responsibility everything feels the same.

I am still making decisions, informing people of where we are, and trying to keep things going.

Still a lot to do, reputations to establish, people to size up and work out, but I guess you could say that it is just like starting a new job, just with the comfort and familiarity of an old one.

Sadly some good friends and members of my support network were lost along the way, and that leaves me feeling a little exposed but am managing to build new relationships and support networks to ensure I return to comfort.

For now, still enjoying and relishing the challenges ahead, but at the same time I manage to keep all routes open and continue to look around. 

While I love my job, being a realist I know that the stress levels and working hours will get to me eventually, and for the sake of my health will need to look for something new.

For now though I will continue to buckle in and enjoy the ride 

Health, an important but fragile thing

When I was younger, my health and general wellbeing was something I just took for granted. Illness came and went and I always recovered and felt fine, until the next cold (or man flu) came along.

I was fairly lucky that, with the exception of one boy who died of meningitis when I was at school, I was never impacted by serious illness (either my own or those close to me) when I was younger.

As I grew older I started to feel the impact, losing a couple of relatives (one close) to cancer when I was in my late teens/early 20’s. Yet still managed to convince myself it happened to those older, and not those around my age.

When I started to know more people who were connected to the Health sector I heard more about illness etc but again, was at a distance from me.

Until 2007 when I myself fell seriously ill. I had been ill for a sustained period of time, around 6 months or so, and had been visiting my GP regularly for tests and pills and what not, and even had a short hospital stay. No improvement came but I continued to feel all would be better soon.

I went on an amazing holiday to the West Coast of America and spent a great 2 weeks or so driving the coast, national parks and having a great time. Slightly impacted by bad health but not too bad.

On my return I was sent to hospital by my boss, and good friend. I was then diagnosed with a serious Long Term Condition, which thankfully is managed, and managed well, by medication and frequent check ups and lifestyle changes.

Being stubborn none of this has really impacted my life too much as I tend to always do what I want to, when I want to, but I just think about it all a bit more now.

Recent years have shown me lots of health related heartache and sadness, but working in the NHS has also allowed me to offset that against doing good and ensuring good healthcare is delivered wherever I can make an impact.

Life is fragile, health is a valuable commodity.

Take care of both, live life to the full, and don’t let people grind you down.

Not sure what the point of this post was, other than to really share some odd thoughts from my mind, but it made me feel good so here it is.

Random, unexpected acts of kindness

In a world where we all have lots of fancy things iPhones, Blu-ray players, Game consoles, Big TV’s, macBook pro’s it is easy to lose sight of the meaning of small acts of kindness.

This week I returned home from work to find an unexpected item of post addressed to me (normally the postman brings only bills). It was a jiffy bag envelope, and was hand addressed.

Intrigued I opened it to see what it was, and it was a dvd. A dvd recorded by a good friend, of a Festival from earlier in the year.

A festival I intended to attend, and indeed managed to arrive at and camp overnight at, before feeling really ill and heading home the next day, before the first note had been played by any of the artists.

Such a kind gesture, completely unexpected, but totally in character from such a great pal. A small thought that brought a big smile to my face and a lot of happiness in just knowing someone had taken the time to think of something that would mean a lot to me.

In this life we are lucky to interact with many people, some will come and go, others will come and remain as good friends. Some will bring little meaning to our lives, and others will bring great joy.

If we are lucky we will be in a position to be lucky enough to have some of these wonderful, rare people as our friends. If we are truly lucky we will have people who think that we are one of those people

The hidden effect we all have on others

Sometimes, I think we forget that as people, who operate as part of a society in which we interact with others on many levels, that we have an effect (even where this is not intended) on those around us.

We make statements, have conversations, and treat people in a way in which we would not want to  be treated and do so without even knowing it is happening.

A throw away comment, an action with no thought, a dismissal without thinking. All of which can affect the recipient far more than is possible to imagine.

We all think we know people, there is x who is always strong in a crisis, y who is a strong person comfortable in their own skin, z who is really confident and friendly.

In reality x has no more idea than we do what to do in a crisis, they just keep a clearer head, y is only confident on outside, inside they are as vulnerable as the rest of us, and z has no self confidence and no idea what people think of them, they assume the worse and never ask.

Really we are all a mix of X,Y,Z and many other types. People may see us as many things but the way we see our selves is an honesty rarely shared with others.

Little comments, random actions and unwise thoughts can have the same effects as a knife wound or a gun shot.

A veneer of confidence is easy to apply, but also easy to break.

One thing I know I am bad at is assessing the impact of my thoughts, words and actions on others. Knowing how much it hurts me when coming from others I often vow to be more self aware, but always revert to type.

Time to get fit and raise money for a good cause along the way.

Well the time has come, all year I have had aborted efforts to get fit and to lose weight. I lost 3/4 stone on Weight Watchers and then piled back on more than I lost.
For someone who loves food and hates exercise dieting is a chore, hassle and none event.
Out of the blue I got an email from a friend inviting me to join them on the London Night Hike in September to raise money for Maggies Cancer centres. This is a 20 mile nightime hike around London taking in some buildings on the way to rest and see places not normally seen.
Last year I raised over £500 for cancer charities in memory of my Aunt and a close family friend who both lost their battles with cancer last year. I have been trying to think of ways to raise more money this year and this came at an ideal time.
I am really looking forward to starting to get fit and raise money. I have 3 months to train and get into shape.
So if anyone wants to sponsor me the link is http://www.justgiving.com/PeteGreensmith
If anyone wants to sign up the link is